Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Tom Egghead


Tom Egghead was a special man. His sphere-like head shone brighter than a diamond. Being bald was great for him to look cool but a simple fall would break his crown. It is no wonder he is called Egghead.



Done by Raynor and Irfan 

2 comments:

  1. "It is no wonder he is called."

    Review this sentence for use of the passive voice
    Ensure you have not overused the passive voice in your work. This sentence is written in the passive voice; consider changing it to the active voice. The passive voice refers to the subject receiving the action; the active voice refers to the subject doing the action. While the passive voice is perfectly acceptable in formal writing, it may not effectively persuade the reader. In modern society, people are often convinced by facts; the active voice sounds more like a fact, or a certainty. Incorrect: Rules are often broken by rebellious teenagers.
    Grammatically, this sentence is correct; however, it is more forceful to use the active voice: Rebellious teenagers often break rules. Incorrect: It has been demonstrated by scientists that smoking causes cancer.
    This sentence is more convincing if written in the active voice: Scientists have demonstrated that smoking causes cancer. N.B. The passive voice should be used in cases where the information is unknown, irrelevant, or should not be mentioned (i.e. when being subtle). It is also used when writing in an impersonal manner to avoid use of pronouns. Correct: The bowl was broken in the scuffle.
    This sentence could replace an accusative sentence, such as “She broke the bowl!”. Use of the passive voice may also put the emphasis where it is most needed: Correct: It is thought that Shakespeare may have been a group of writers rather than a single author.

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  2. "Tom Egghead was a special man"
    Review this sentence for generic words

    This word may be vague and subject to overuse. To improve the quality and variety of your writing, consider using one of the following replacements. Carefully review the definitions of the suggested words to ensure they appropriately fit the context.
    Suggested synonym:specialunique     

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