Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Miss Betty Woodpecker


The sound of the wood pecking startled me. As I tiptoed to the window, the sound became louder and louder. When I peered over the window, I saw the lucious read flowers and white feathers. Seeing that, I thought it was a wrongly killed women. As I mustered my courage, I peered out again, to my horror, it disappeared. Just as I felt the wind blew, it turned my head and saw the ‘ghost’. To my surprise, it was just Miss Betty the Woodpecker.


By Jia Tong 

3 comments:

  1. "As I tiptoed to the window, the sound became louder and louder."

    Review this sentence for incomplete comparisons
    Ensure there are no incomplete comparisons in your work; the sentence must be complete, so the things being compared are clearly identifiable. When something is being compared to something else, the sentence must clearly identify all things being compared. Often, the comparative sentence includes a word like “more”, “less”, or “so”; the sentence also needs to include words like “than” or “that”. Incorrect: That comedian is more straight-forward with his jokes.

    The words, “more straight-forward”, imply a comparison, but there is nothing to which one can compare the comedian. The sentence might be finished with, “…than the other comedian who tells long, convoluted stories.” Incorrect: Bryan is so funny.
    The word, “so”, implies a comparison should be made. If a comparison is to be made, the sentence could be finished with, “…that it is difficult to pay attention to the teacher.” If there is no comparison to be made, “so” can be removed and replaced by a qualifier: Bryan is very funny.

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  2. "lucious"

    Spelling
    Suggested corrections:
    luscious

    ReplyDelete
  3. "read"

    Suggested corrections:
    red

    ReplyDelete